I receive emails from young ladies that are currently relaxed or transitioning.  The ones who are transitioning want to know how long it will take for their hair to get to a certain length once they have fully transitioned.  Some seem to be under the impression that the only way they can achieve their desired length is to grow out their relaxer and become natural.

While I do think it is better not to get relaxers, it is not my personal opinion that a individuals hair can only be long if they have natural hair.  That is simply ridiculous (again, my opinion).  I am a prime example.

Except for the two occasions when I decided I wanted to have short hair and had my hair cut in a chin-length bob, I have had what most African-American’s deem as long hair (APL, BSL, MBL and TL).  I feel that it is how you treat your hair that will allow for a person to retain length, which then aides in the desired length.

Using curling irons, flat-irons, blow dryers, and letting the stylist cut the hair every time a visit is made to the salon is what prevents a person’s hair from getting longer.  It is NOT because the hair is not growing.  Come on.  EVERYONE’s hair grows.  Well, unless they have a medical condition (if that is the case a medical professional should be contacted at once).  Most individual’s hair grow a half inch a month.  Think about this….if your hair grows half an inch a month AND you go to the salon every 6 – 8 weeks and the stylist cuts an inch off.  How can you expect to see growth?  You won’t.  It is impossible.

My thought process on this entire thing is this, if you feel the need to relax your hair….then relax.  It is your choice and honestly I don’t think it is good or bad.  It just is.  So, if you have relaxed hair (this works for the natural ladies as well) then try the following:

  1. If getting a relaxer, don’t get a touch-up before 8 weeks (you DO NOT “need” one before then).
  2. Deep Condition your hair at least once a month.
  3. Limit heat to once every 6 – 8 weeks.
  4. Learn to do your own hair and only allow a stylist in your hair to do your relaxer (if you don’t feel you can do it yourself).
  5. Do not allow a stylist to use both a blow dryer and a flat-iron or curling iron.
  6. If your stylist can not get your hair straight like you want with a blow dryer and round brush, find a new stylist.
  7. Try roller setting, pin curls, curl formers or flexi-rods instead of a flat-iron or curling iron.
  8. Get on YouTube and find different styles doing braidouts and twistouts (I’ve been doing them since I was 11 years old before there was a name for them).
  9. Look at the ingredients of the products you are using on your hair (if you can’t pronounce it, then don’t use it).
  10. Drink plenty of water (a gallon or close to it) .
  11. Exercise.
  12. Eat nutritious meals and snacks (you can treat yourself once or twice a week just don’t overindulged.

All of these things are essential to having not only healthy hair and nails, but an overall healthy life.  I know some will not agree with me and say that relaxers are bad and refer to it as “the creamy crack”.  But, I bet more than half of those people don’t do half the things I mentioned above either!  Everyone has to do what they feel is right for them.  People should not judge others and quite frankly if they do then they need to get a life!

I thought I would do a blog post instead of a vlog because people judging others is a huge pet peeve of mine and I know I wouldn’t be as nice about this if I wasn’t writing!  Thanks for taking the time to read and I hope some of the information was useful to you.



  1. Great post! I was thinking one of my friends who told me she went natural because her hair "wouldn't grow" would relax as soon as her hair got to *long* (whatever length that may be to her) & I just thought, "Why go natural? You could have started a long hair journey w/relaxers…"

  2. Thank you so much! I know this is a controversial topic to some natural women. But, really wanted to post this. I actually wrote it in July and saved it as a Draft. Today, I was like forget it. It's my Blog and I can say what I want. So I truly appreciate your nice comment! 🙂

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